Patience is a Virtue

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Guest Post by Maison Lowery

Patience is a virtue. This is a phrase I have heard quite often growing up. At one point, I had to Google it to know if this is something that comes from the bible or if this was one of those catchy southern phrases that my grandmother probably taught me. I am pleased to be reminded that in Galatians, patience is listed as one of the 7 fruits of the spirit or a “virtue” so I was not just living by a catching Southern phrase.

As a first year Capernaum staffer, patience has taken on a new meaning for me. It has been stretched and tested in ways I didn’t see coming. The biggest lesson in the virtue of patience came from a new friend that I had met at the school. I first met her when I visited the high school life skills classroom. She was laying on a mat uninterested in what the rest of the class was doing. The YoungLife leader that went with me, explained that she was one of the few in the class that attended our Club. I went to meet her and she said very little. She mainly repeated two words again and again. I left wondering how she acted at club if she doesn’t even get off the mat at school.

I discovered what that looked like about 2 weeks later and it was very similar to her behavior in the classroom. She didn’t want to even enter the clubroom. All she really wanted was to eat then leave with her mother. Sitting in the hallway with her the first club, I was discouraged to think she would never come in the clubroom.

The last club of the year an amazing thing happened. She not only entered the clubroom but also stayed for the whole club talk!! It took a full year of being consistent in her life for her to enter the room. Being patient in waiting can be hard but if we love like Jesus, we are called to be there when others might give up. 

Tips on what to do for a friend that doesn’t come in the clubroom:

1. Find out what he/ she enjoys! My friend loves music. When I would spend time with her outside of the clubroom, I would try to teach her Jesus loves me. It is a simple song with a bold gospel statement. I would sing and write it down on paper that she would then draw on. Even her coloring over my words felt like a victory in her interacting with the Good News! 

2. Find out what motivates him/ her! For my friend, she will do just about anything for food. Her mom did not want her eating extra so we had to be creative when using this motivating tool. Rather than her sitting with everyone else at the tables, I would have her plate of food ready when she walked in the door. I would be the one to greet her and then walk with her plate of food in hand into the clubroom. Normally, the students eat elsewhere and then enter when it was time for club to start but she got the treat of eating in the clubroom with hopes that she would stay in the room for the talk. 

3. Make a schedule! Congratulations, you have figured out what motivates your friend. One thing I learned is that I needed to space out when she received her treat. If she was only allowed two cookies, I needed to plan when she would be rewarded with a cookie. It became as simple as splitting the cookies in half and putting a timer on for 5 minutes. She knew when the timer went off, she would get another cookie. This schedule encouraged her to stay in the room long enough to be rewarded with another cookie. It was tangible and positively reinforced her behavior. 

4. Pray, pray, pray. The first time my friend stayed in the clubroom, it was nothing short of a miracle. The Lord placed the right people in the room at the right time for her not to get up. There happened to be markers around us when we needed and everything about the space felt ordained. The setting was fit for her to stay in the room. This was not because I had planned it to be that way but because the Lord went before us to make the seemingly impossible, possible. 

5. Be consistent! Besides prayer, this one is the most important. Keep showing up in your friend’s life. Hebrews 13:8 tells us, “Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever.” One thing that makes Jesus’ love so unique is his consistency. He is the same day in and day out. Being patient in waiting can be hard but if we love like Jesus, we are called to be there when others might give up. I am so thankful that someone didn’t give up on me. Our Capernaum friends deserve the same patience and persistence.

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