A Place to Belong By Erik Carter

Have you ever thought about just what it is that makes you feel like you really belong somewhere? About the things that help you feel like you are truly part of a particular community? 

In my own field of special education, the outcomes we have pursued for young people with labels like Down syndrome, autism, and intellectual disability have evolved over the last few decades. Where we once pursued integration, we now talk about promoting inclusion. But my sense is that both terms fall short of what really matters most. People want to be more than merely integrated or included. They want to experience true belonging.

But belonging is a hard concept to define. We quickly feel its absence. But describing its presence can be much more challenging. What might be some markers of belonging within a community of faith?

We recently interviewed almost 50 adolescents with intellectual disability or autism and their parents about their faith and the things that help them flourish. Some of our questions focused on this issue of belonging and the attitudes and actions that promote it. Ten dimensions of belonging emerged from these conversations. 

As I summarize each, think about what you are already doing to ensure young people with disabilities are invited, present, welcomed, known, accepted, supported, cared for, befriended, needed, and loved. And prayerfully consider what you might do more of or better.

Invite. Most people come to church for the first time because they were personally asked, not because of advertisements or social media. An announcement is quite different from an invitation! More than 500,000 adolescents with intellectual disability, autism, and other developmental disabilities attend middle and high schools across the United States. In fact, as many as 2-3% of all students at any school are known by such labels. It is clear there many more personal invitations need to be extended. 

Are young people with disabilities being personally invited?

Experience Presence. Belonging requires presence. It is hard for people to be in relationship when they never or rarely encounter one another. The absence of people with disabilities from the life of a faith community is perhaps the first barrier to be addressed. Although 87% of people with significant disabilities consider their faith to be an important aspect of their lives, only 45% report attending a place of worship at least once per month. 

Are young people with disabilities present in all of the activities you offer?

Welcome. We all hope to encounter hospitality and a warm welcome when we arrive to a new community for the first time. However, such gestures are not guaranteed for people with intellectual disability. Rather than feeling welcomed, many leave feeling wounded. In fact, as many as one third of parents report having changed their place of worship because their son or daughter with an intellectual and developmental disability was not welcomed or included.

Are young people with disabilities warmly welcomed when they arrive?

Know. Christians are called to welcome the stranger. But the stranger should not stay that way. Spending time with someone and learning about their interests, stories, passions, and gifts helps them become known in new ways. Known not by a label, but as an individual. Known not by their deficits, but by their strengths. And when people are known, they go from “being present” to “having a presence.”

Are young people with disabilities truly known within your community?

Accept. Real acceptance comes not from an awareness campaign, but through personal interactions over time. As someone becomes known deeply, true acceptance grows. People come to feel like family and embraced for who they are.

Are young people with disabilities accepted without condition or caveat?

Support. Sometimes young people with intellectual disability will benefit from additional support to participate fully in all of the activities and relationships that make up life in a community of faith. Such supports may need to be individualized or a bit more intensive. In a recent study, however, we learned just how uneven or elusive this support can be. Let creativity and intentionality describe your posture. And if you aren’t sure where to start, just ask the person what you can do to make them feel welcome.

Are young people with disabilities provided the support they need to participate fully?

Care for. Everyone needs care. Authentic communities should be marked by generous care. Offering spiritual care and practical assistance they need—both within and beyond the boundaries of when we formally gather together each week—can be an important part of helping young people with disabilities to thrive. There are many ways to meet felt needs the other six days of the week. And most require no disability expertise—praying together, sharing a meal, asking about life, offering a ride, providing a job connection, or extending a helping hand.

Are young people with disabilities receiving care in ways that help them flourish?

Befriend. We flourish most in relationship with others. Yet friendships can be so elusive for youth with intellectual disability. For example, 44% of youth with autism never see friends outside of school and 51% have not been invited to a peer’s social activities during the past year. Real friendship is never forced. However, so much of how we design activities can inadvertently stand in the way of friendship formation. We should take active steps to put people in the very best position to get chosen as friends.

Are young people with disabilities named as friends?

Need. Belonging is marked by reciprocity. We all have need for one another—you need me, but I also need you. Our society often struggles to see people with disabilities as possessing gifts and strengths that make them indispensable to a community. Likewise, we so often pursue ministry to people with disabilities without recognizing ministry by people with disabilities. But the Church must see itself as incomplete without the presence and participation of people with disabilities.

Are young people with disabilities missed when they are not present?

Love. We can be certain we belong when we are loved. This aspect of belonging needs little elaboration. We are called to love.

Are young people with disabilities experiencing a deep love?

As I reflect on these ten dimensions of belonging, I am struck by several things. First, these seem to serve as salient indicators of belonging for anyone—whether or not they have a disability. Second, they remind us that people with disabilities do not have “special needs,” but rather ordinary needs. Third, they are best met—perhaps can only met—within the context of personal relationship. They cannot be met when people remain at arm’s length.

I hope these findings will encourage and guide you in your efforts to welcome and weave people with disabilities into all of the experiences and relationships that matter most.


Erik Carter is a Professor of Special Education at Vanderbilt University and he serves on the Young Life Capernaum Board. His research focuses on the intersection of faith and disability and he is the author of Including People with Disabilities in Faith Communities.